She is in my trunk
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i dont even know how to be here
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
