Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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