I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i love accidental penises.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize