...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
