is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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