How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
