I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
