I will die if light touches me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
