..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
