I just saw a hot homeless man
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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