I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
