that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
