i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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