I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
