Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize