So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize