my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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