i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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