I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
