And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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