He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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