She is in my trunk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
