I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
