I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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