He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Even my vagina gasped.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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