yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
