whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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