coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
