wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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