i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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