Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
