Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize