i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
