haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
