So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
