after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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