he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
