What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
