idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
