he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
