just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
