hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
