If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize