She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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