U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
