smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And my parents said I crawled through the house
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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