Christians are straight up FREAKS
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
