He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need moral support for this bender
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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