This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
