everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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