yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
