I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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