his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
