Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
