so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
