I wish I could punch you in the face.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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