sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just cropdusted the office
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
