Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
