I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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