i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize