im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
