girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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