is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
