how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
