Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
