My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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