also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
