My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
