p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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