I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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