Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
