if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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