im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
