I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
