Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
