I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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