i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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