I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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