You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nicole vs. Life
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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